A Great Deal of Daring or (If We Numb the Dark, We Numb the Light)


From the teachings of Buddha to those of Jesus, from Existentislism to Christianity, I’ve learned that suffering is an inherent aspect of being human as is death. I’ve learned from all those places that our emotions are not bad or good, but just emotions. All these sources have taught me that it’s in how we confront our emotions and what we do with them and respond to them that matters.

Having lost our mother this week, my siblings and I (and extended family and friends) are undoubtedly full of multifaceted, complex, and conflicting emotions. We are full of pain from our lose and joy from our memories, hurt from regrets and happiness from our time together.

The aforementioned sources, especially Existentislism coupled with mindfulness, urges us to embrace each and ever moment in life and be attentive to them and our inner lives, which includes our emotions.

As saddening as losing a parent is, I believe there can be a silver lining to these dark clouds. That accepting all I’m feeling and embracing it will soften me, teach me, make me more gentle, make me more thankful, and cause me to love and live intentionally with meaning and purpose. It can lead me to live in the here and now with courage, love, and vulnerability, which takes a great deal of daring.

My mother’s death is tragic, yes, but it can serve as a teacher along with her life, love, and memory. It can teach me to embrace the negative and good of all this life has to throw at us. It can teach me to embrace and be gentle with myself and what I feel. It can teach me hope, patience, love, and honesty with who I am and what I feel.

I’m trying not to ignore or resist any feeling this tragedy is bringing about, but to sit with them in this experience and listen to what they can teach me.

In the long run, it would be self-harming and self-destructive to not embrace the full emotional spectrum of this experience. It is going to be a few rough months, maybe even years. However, I feel I have to open myself up to all I feel, see, experience, and discover through this journey. Christ has walked through this very same journey with the human experience; I know He walks with me. I know He has trampled down death by death bestowing life upon those in the tombs!

Pray for me, dear friends, and my family and extended family.

If we numb the dark we numb the Light!” -Dr. Brene Brown

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