Transcending Heartache


My amazing friend Kathryn Hernandez wrote the following epic piece for all us broken hearted lovers out there:

Transcending Heartache

This is for the hopeless romantics that believe they have lost their only shot at true love. What is love if you can fall out of it and do it again with a new person? The human spirit is a resilient entity—have faith.

I begged the love of my life not to break up with me. I held on so tight that I could have shattered every bone in my hands. December 20, 2014 around 2:30pm is when my life was forever changed.

This person ripped a huge chunk of my being only to be indifferent about the pieces of me she will forever carry. I felt so naked and empty inside. I went home to family and friends who couldn’t fit the ex girlfriend sized hole in me. There was a lot of booze, cigarettes, and random sexual encounters that only furthered the rotting in my soul.

I had to get out of this dangerous cycle, so I returned to the state of my ex lover. I started to become an adult and regrow the in the places that were gone. Then she texted me and I let her back in. We picked up where we left off pretty quickly. That basically means she was excited about me for 2.5 seconds and then the novelty was gone. I was her escape from being a slave to loneliness.

Our time expired quickly and I found myself begging again. I asked why couldn’t she love me and her response was she simply did not know. I thought of how she was going to one day love another, kiss and make love to a different person. I felt like vomiting. I knew one thing for sure; I was never going to love again. She is the love of my life after all.

A lot of us feel like we will never heal from the love of our life. We cannot close that door no matter how many times it gets slammed on our fingers. I have realized something that I need to remind myself when I feel like this: the love of your life does not treat you badly.

The love of your life does not take you for granted. The love of you life does not dangle you on a string while she figures out her feelings for her ex. The love of you life does not criticize your weight. They do not build you up only to knock you down. Their words are tools of destruction. The love of your life doesn’t pull away from your touch, kiss, or love. The love of your life does not force you to have dinner with their ex who still has pieces of their heart. The grand love of your life does not make you feel alone. If you have found the love of your life, you don’t go out to seek attention and validation outside the relationship.

This is my experience, but I am certain that there are other similar experiences out there. If this is you, then know you are not alone. I am still healing, but today I choose to remember why my ex does not deserve me. I remember why we did not work out. I have faith that I will love again and it will be the most uplifting experience yet.

Until then I will love myself in the way she could not. I will build myself up in the places she knocked down. I want to fall in love with myself and become a whole person before I meet my next future partner. The best is yet to come. Have faith and know it is okay to feel hopeless. It is okay to have the ground beneath you vanish. There is a hidden strength within all of us to help us transcend this heartbreak. We will be okay.

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